peachpie

dealova

2008-01-21T16:47:00.000-08:00

Life's been pretty good to me these few days.
im not with wan anymore....
but im thinking about andy so much....
i miss him so bad.
i want him so bad.
i duno wat he did to me... but i cannot forget him....
and i dont want to...
he just..
i dont know
i know he wants to play with me then he wants me to leave him alone
and im such a fucking fool for still loving him..
and wanting to be with him
what can friends do?
all they will say is DONT BE DUMB
DONT CALL TT FUCKER
I WILL WACK HIM UP
TELL TT FUCKER I GONA FUCK HIM UP
thats all.
and that doesnt help the pain at all.....
it just makes me think of him more.
and more.... everywhere i go....
reminds me of him....
everything i do.....
fuck.

and to think that he doesnt even feel a shit for me...
that is what really fucking hurts.
i feel so fucking.... like.... a pest to him.
when i should be hating him,
i find myself seeking his attention and love once again.

wan and syai may like me now....
they may be the sweetest people on earth to me.
wan is being so fucking nice to me... i dont even know what to do anymore
he bought a guitar to play songs for me
he cried for me
he looks at me while i sleep
he wants to hug me everyday
he does eveything i want to make me happy. EVERYTHING.
he helps out with the house when my mother makes noise at ME.
i dont... know.... hes just too nice for me
and syai.... syai is so damn sweet to me....
forever doing the nicest smallest cutest things for me....
buying me cheese cake almost everyday.... cos he knows how much i love it
even though he has no money
he pays for my cigs even though he has only 5 bucks left in his wallet
he meets me as much as possible even though he has to send me from bukit batok to amk then back to bukit batok again.
he doesnt want me to buy food for him, he wants me to cook for him.
he sends me the sweetest msges
but
what am i thinking about? im thinking about andy.
that fucker who played me and now doesnt even wanna admit that he knows me.
i dont know what im doing. im so lost. so fucking lost.

Dealova - dewa19

Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah
Dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu
Yang mungkin bisa kau rindu

Kerana langkah merapuh
Tanpa dirimu
Oh
Kerana hati telah letih

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu
Yang selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tahu bahawa aku
Selalu memujamu

Tanpamu sepinya waktu
Merantai hati
Oh
Bayangmu seakan-akan

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku yang
Memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yang kuhela kau selalu ada

Hanya dirimu
Yang bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu
Aku merasa hilang
Dan sepi
Dan sepi

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku yang
Memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yang kuhela kau selalu ada

Selalu ada
Kau selalu ada
Selalu ada
Kau selalu ada

>>>>>English translation<<<<<

I wish I were a beautiful dream
In your sleep
I wish I were something
You always long for

Every step I take has to break
Without you
Oh
Because my heart is weary

I wish I were something
You always long to touch
I want you to know
I always adore you

Without you my hours are lonely
My heart is in chains
Oh
All I see is but your shadow

You are like a song in my heart
That removes my loneliness
You are like the air that I breathe
You are always there for me

Only you
Can calm me
Without you
I feel lost
And lonely

You are like a song in my heart
That removes my loneliness
You are like the air that I breathe
You are always there for me

Always there for me
Always there for me
Always there for me
Always there for me

New decision

2007-10-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

I guess that I've totally abandoned my blog.
I have this bad habit of doing things half way.
and like continue with what I've stopped doing when i'm bored.

But now, i think im just going to stick to my blog.
Since i wont be meeting my bf as often.
and i wont be allowed to go out with other ppl.
i think i'll have loads of time on my hands!!

anyway... i took this brain test thingy and its kinda true. but i don't really believe in this kinda stuff. there's so much more to people than questions and summaries.

yoko, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.

Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.

You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."

With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.

is it true is it true?!?!?!

yeah.. most of it or all of it is true. No like nonsense.... like some other tests.

TOMORROW IS HARI RAYA!! and im celebrating this year, with some people. yaye! shall take many pics

lallala

2007-09-23T09:43:00.001-07:00

I just got really really bored to death
and so decided to make a new post =D
i do stupid things when im bored
like go check out an ex boyfriends frenster.
which i did.
some people never change, and it just made my hairs stand to its ends
and it also gave me a great sense of relief.
reading his stupid profile "graphic designer"
he made my hairs stand coz...
when i knew him he barely knew anything about computers
and he certainly has no style.
i bet that im more of a graphic designer than he is.
he doesnt even have a basic software called
PHOTOSHOP in his com and i bet he doesnt even know what photoshop IS.
what more other stuff like flash and dreamweaver and 3dmax.... wahhahaha.
so i have no idea what he's rambling on about.
sick.
he made me feel a great sense of relief cos
im really thankful that i broke up with him....
now that i look back on it and i go "thank God"
i duno why. i just really hate him, till this day.
and not surprisingly, everyone else does too.

wan, he's juz really nice and dependable
not to mention he can make me smile at his stupid jokes.
at this point of time, i'd really prefer a guy who's gonna be stable
someone i can trust fully
and someone to guide me.
which he is...
so im satisfied with who i got.
and he taught me to fast this month
and he taught me all about the mosque and all
and he taught me how to speak malay
and he taught me a lot about bikes
and he taught me how to save money
and now, thanks to him i have a whole loada frenz.
not to mention my school work's getting like 10 times better.
he's been forcing me to study and go to school and all. GOOOOOOOOOD.
so i guess, im gaining more from him than anyone else.
now, i feel kinda bad cos... i've mistreated him.
ive been selfish
ive... taken him for granted.
but sometimes he can really piss me off!
but in the end, i always win. heeee. cos im a spoilt brat and he knows it.
ok... thats besides the point.
he's just a nice guy. simple.

Today i almost broke my fast
cos i was so damn bored
and i felt like smoking.
and eating snacks
and digging my nose.
LOL!

hmmmm... im still bored....
....
....
...
hmmmm....
ok...
i want a bike!!
yeah, i really want a bike BAD.
but everytime i save up the money to go sign up for my license
i keep asking myself if im wasting my money
and if i'd have enough money to even get a bike
and stuff like that
then i'd use the money to go buy stuff like jeans and tops and jackets and stuff
which i dont really need
then i'd feel happy for a while
then... i'll start to regret doing it.
then.. ill start complaining to wan.
and pestering him to sponsor my license and bike.LOL.

ONE DAY.
i promise myself
I WILL GET A BIKE!

BENCI

2007-09-04T01:27:00.000-07:00

What a horribly boring day
My bf sucks
my project sucks
everything sucks
suck suck suck

im doing a project about BABI
buying and selling BABI
pig pig pig.

i wan watch movie also cannot watch
i wan download software also cannot
cheeeeebyeeeeeeeee

STUID DAY

2007-06-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

i just wanna announce this damn thing to the WHOLE OF SINGAPORE
girls out there
i am warning you, PLEASE do not under any circumstances
date a bartender... or what's worse, get married to one.
trust me when i say almost all of them are ASS HOLES.
i have yet to meet one that isn't, but if there's one out there,
good for him.

I have friends who are bartenders and i used to date a few.
and they're all the same.
they may seem like the perfect guy and they sure as hell have the charm.
but... it's all a lie.
i just met a new fren today... and he happens to know...
one of my ex's... and one of my frenz.
who are both bartenders.
and well well... he's the same as them
the way he talks
the topics he talks about
.... typical.
they're fun frenz but lousy boyfriends.
he claims my friend is going to geylang to fuck girls
by using money which is not even his.
there's only one thing i can say...
they're going straight to hell.
this new fren of mine is only like 17.... and he's mixing around with the wrong ppl.

ahhh. i just hate bartenders.
anyway. today ayang's still sick and im still bored
so i went to meet ma old frenz
sharul
zakir
and some other ppl
lepak till i was bored
watched them do some break dancing
played with a cat
listened to them crap
crapped with them
laughed at them
laughed with them
then zakir sent me home sweet home.
in his dad's car.
i miss ayang.
long time never see him.
i think 2 days
lol.
sad.
sleepy.
tmr gotta go out with hajar, elly, yenny and fie.
wanna go sentosa
but kinda lazy
kinda tired
kinda wanna...
zzzzzzzzzz..................

guess who's back, back again

2007-06-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

Guess who's back, back again.
I think my blog's been dead for a few months already.
Totally no updating, but still getting ppls tags. So sweet. haha.

Anyway. the only reason why im blogging is cos its the holidays
and i have too much free time on my hands.
Im going mad. i need to go out.
But i dont have cash.
which means... i have to work.
and work means i can't go out.
the irony.

Anyway, last night after going out with yan n ryzan and co.
me n wan went to JB,
i think it was one of the weirdest times i ever went to JB.
it was like 3am in the morning when we left from the padang.
by the time we reached the highway
it was like so damn foggy... and it was so quiet
not used to seeing a highway so quiet even at that time in the night.
anyway... we just pushed our way
the more i looked, the more eerie it became.
no one around at all la!!
just told myself not to think so much
it wasnt scary. more like a "wth??" weird feeling.
then we went through this like big turn at woodlands nearing customs.
u know u know? that big big turn.
yeah... the last time we went there... there was this smell
the smell of flowers of a bougainvillea tree blooming.
u know and i know. what that means.
it was so pungent la.
the smell like just went up my nose.
and it freaked me out la.
so last night when we went past that corner, i just held my nose and closed my eyes.
and the fog made syg sick.
wth! i also dun understand what he was telling me.
he was saying something about how the fog can make u feel weird
then make u feel sick but not sick
something like that. he called it... duno wat jantan.
dun understand. hahaha.
then he told me "syg, today go home MUST MUST MUST wash face and feet before u masuk bilik k" hahahaha. ooooooo. wonder wonder.

Anyway tmr gotta head back to school to pay my DAMN school fees
its like 300 plus la. and im taking a loan to pay for the rest.
its dam unfair, i dun understand why my frenz gotta pay like 60 bucks
and without loan somemore.
Then after that maybe meet up with janine to buy some clothes
or if that doesnt happen then ill just go down to my mums condo
for a swim.
i dunno.
i need a job
i need my own bike.
i need a life!!!!!!!!

Birthday

2007-02-27T01:29:00.000-08:00

Finally blogging again
it was one of the greatest birthdays ever
and the happiest i guess.
On the eve of my birthday
i went out with my bf... to SWENSENS. yumyum
and his nephews werent working there that night
but yati their manager was there
so we got free ice cream and drinks
and a very nice birthday wish
heh. shh.
nice la. then we went to catch the 12am movie
letters to IWO JIMA. kinda nice but at the same time boring
then i came home..... tried to study for the database exam...
but cannot make it la... so i just slept 2 hours
and went to meet some peeps to study with them.
when i arrived i got presents!
kinda like excited and happy
then i opened the wrapper
and i saw.......... yokoyoko
i was like....... HAHAHAHA. wtf!
yokoyoko on my birthday
hahahhaha. stupid ass.
what did he expect me to do with it?!?!?!
rub it on uh?
hahhahahaha.
then LUCKILY ... there was another present...
ESCADA. damn... damn... happy.
just wanted to like sit there and smile at the bottle till i died.
hahhaha. so sweet la.
then went to school...
had a birthday wishes frm people.
sweet.
then went for the exam and didnt know a thing
then.. then...
then went to ARAB STREET with dya iqa hafid elly yati ruzaini zahid.
smoked some sheesha.
wanted to blanja them.
but i didnt bring out cash since it was a last min thing.
so.. sorry.
then got present from the "secret people"
duno who bought it la.
but i guess its frm all of them
hahahha
they made me stand in the middle of nowhere and they sang happy birthday
hahhaha... paiseh sia
omg
nevermind.
sweet
i was bhb on my bd
but
heh
its once in a year
so
enjoy
finally... i came home and went online
and i think i had 2 pgs full of bd testi's.
hahahaha yaye. just wat i wanted. hahhahahha
thanks people.

off i go to study again.

East Cost Beach Singapore

2006-11-27T23:03:00.000-08:00

Mr Mhd Rizal!!

Dya!! babe so cute la. take pic of herself. hahahha.
we were too bored.

Anyway went to study with them last week
and i felt a little better about school.
At least i had help with school work u know?
IM JUST TOO STRESED OUT WITH SCHOOL
my attendace is at debarment mark
and my mentor isnt helping at all. im stressed out right now
i duno la.
stupid school.

look at my face, i aint smiling. IM STRESSED.

SO... my lovely boyfriend decided to take me out on the weekend.
to go to... EAST COST BEACH!
At first it was a little boring cos we had this bbq with all his old
secondary school friends.
and they kept talking about their old school days...
so i just went into the tent to talk on the phone
and i fell asleep!

A genius mind at sleep.

so i slept all the way till morning!
and this is the view i woke up to....

Awesome View huh?!

by morning, all his friends had gone home and it was just left with
me and him!

look at the orange glow. so nice.
ugly face.

WE were under this HUGE duno wat tree.
and that tree somehow had many many red ants.
and when i woke up...
the top of the tent was full of red ants........ eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
ayang had to use the towel and swipe all of them outta the way.
so anyway.... ayang wanted to go swim in the sea.
but i was like... NOOOOOOOO. i didnt bring extra clothes.
so he gave me his clothes to go swimming, so i did.
and what did he wear?? HIS UNDERWEAR. haahhahahhahaha. dam funny la.
hahaha. he very cute la, didnt know he cant swim.
he kept asking me how to trap water.
and i taught him... but eveytime he tried, his head would go under water.
After the swim somehow, we both felt very tired... again.
so we went to sleep! ayang slept in his underwear... HAHAHA.

Ayang just woke up! need to exercise.. his tyre ponchet.

Me packing up.

well.. we both were about to get outta east coast when it started to rain!
so we just slacked in the tent
with our feet dangling out of the tent.

very lazy to blog anymore..
so here are some random pics from vivo city and bugis

samesame

2006-11-14T15:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday... My-lovely-once-a-week-tuesday-off day.
The day i look foward to after monday.
The day i look foward to after THE STUPID AGGOGANT ASS HOLE OF A SEM-PRO
DAMN BIG MOUTH TEACHER.
yeah... i DREAD mondays cos of sem pro
1. i have to sit alone. im not used to it. i dont think anyone is.
2. the stupid sem pro teacher is full of shit and i hate him
3. i can't ask my class questions about anything so if i duno how to do something
i'll just lose my marks for that week.
4. Dya is seats n seats away.
5. i hate the teacher
6. i really hate the teacher.
i got 10% of out 30% just cos he didnt want to mark mine. so good rite he?
I HATE SCHOOL.
anyway... rizal, dya and qin arent coming to school this week.
all the more i dont feel like going to school.
and all my close frenz dont go for lectures.
so i dont think im going for lectures this morning.
i'll just go for 2 hours of tutorial. no dya. no qin. no rizal. =(
omg. i think im gona fail this sem until dam jia lat unless i change class.

anyway... spent my tuesday with my bf as usual.
we were suppoesd to go shopping at bugis so that i could buy new clothes
since im running out of clothes.
but then... he wanted to "look" at helmets.
so i said.. ok la.. we go look at helments for a lil while...
but then.................... in the end......................... he wanted to buy these 2 helments
for us.
eeeeeeeeeeeee. feel like pinching him sia.
in my mind i was just screaming "NO NO NO HELMET, i wanna go shopping!"
but since i knew he really wanted it
and he got a very very good discount that day....
i just gave in to him and took out my 70 bucks for my helmet.
so we went to chose the color of the helmets la.
i told him to get same color so it looks more "couple-ish"
but he didnt want to...
he said he wanted blue.
i straight away went "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" hate blue.
so he took blue and i took black.
in the end.... i duno wat the hell happened.
and he took the black instead
and gave me the horrible blue..
i was so shocked
i kept thinking
"DIDNT HE HEAR ME SAY I HATE BLUE"
then i got damn pissed off at him la.
i could have spent that money on JEANS on SHIRTS on TOPS on ACCESSORIES.
if i knew he wanted to take black
and he didnt want the same color
i would have taken like grey or something
instead of BLUE. WTF. eeeeeeeeeeeee.
gonna complain to him today...
since i was too damn pissed to talk to him yesterday.
but in the end... its just a damn helmet.

Suffering... in this enldless hell.

2006-11-14T14:52:00.000-08:00

~~I made a mistake.~~
~~I should have done what i wanted during the first week of school~~
~~but stupid me... got too lazy to see my mentor.~~
~~and now im stuck in this endless HELL.~~
~~its the biggest regret.~~
~~Now everyday i go to school... its just a living hell.~~
~~torture everyday.~~
~~I go to school happy...~~
After school my mood is just so fucked up....
even i scare myself somethimes.

~~This.... class... i thought it wouldnt be so bad at first.~~
~~I thought that at least people would be friendly.~~
~~but guess what. it sucks.~~
~~and it is.. the biggest biggest regret...~~
~~but what can i do about it?~~
~~just gotta live through it and be patient.~~
~~its only week 5... and already...~~
~~i feel like its been months and months.~~

I dont know how these people
actually enjoy going to school.
i can go to ANY class. any class at all...
except this class.
Im telling u... ANY CLASS. but when i saw my time table
out of all classes, i got posted to this class.
wtf man. they aren't like any class i have ever been too since last sem
They are not helpful at all... and i've heard people say that too...
i just chose not to believe it. but they are.
then i heard nadya was in tt class too
i felt quite ok.
but she's only one person.
what can she do? she cant be with me 24/7.
i dont know.
no one else to blame but myeslf. stupid me.

~~one day... i just know... im gona cry in class.~~
~~How do i get throught this? I just look foward to every weekend.~~
~~that's how i get thru each week.~~
~~just really pray for the end of this sem to come. asap.~~
~~after this sem. i will not be with them anymore.~~
THANK GOD.

If anyone can read this, good for you.
and dont u dare tell anyone about this.

Mat Rempit! do as i do. and ill laff at u.

2006-10-31T14:27:00.000-08:00

No pics today.
but got a lot to blog about.
ARGH. my mood now = angry
my mind now = sleepy
my heart now = merajok

hahaha.
I want to blog about my WHOLE day in DETAIL. DEEEEEE-TAAAAAILLL.
so i hope u dont get bored.
FIRST. every tuesday is my OFF day from school.
so i slept pretty late last night and my bf woke me up at like 4pm.
Left from amk with him at about 7pm to meet saini at ah boy. this bike shop.
thennnn... i was hungry..... i was tired...... i was sleeeeeepy.....
but i had to wait for like 2 hours for them to choose and buy saini's stuff from the shop.
they are soooooo fickle minded, they spent more time on talking than on
actually buying anything at all. bloody shit.
nvm then we proceeded to woodlands,
wanted to call herman... since i was in his neighbourhood but was too lazy.
we slacked around under saini's block
filled in the white cards for malaysia
and we were OFF to malaysia.
First thing we did as usual after customs is...
we went to buy ciggies then we went to ANOTHER bike shop in jb
to fix up saini's bike with the things we bought earlier at ah boy
thennn we had to wait another hour or so....
i was sitting at the bike shop
then suddenly i see this chinese guy pillion-ing some scrambler.
i thought it was kinda strange to see a chinese guy
so i looked at him la... then the guy smiled and waved frantically at me....
then my mind went bonkers la... i was thinking
"who the hell is this guy? who is he waving at? is he flirting? is he mad? is he chinese??"
it took me a while to register his face before i realised
it was mark =.= i was kinda excited at first
then i saw him jumping around infront of me waving hi.
kinda cute la. like small boy.
but he was dao. hate dao ppl. cannot tolerate them. bah.

then i asked him where he going... and he said singah selalu...
then i said ok la.. i'll meet them there later
then along came Saufi!
saufiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii so cute. hahahhaha. talked to him...
then he said he was going to singah selalu with mark and asked what i was doing
at the bike shop. i just said... i was doing nothing and i was bored.
so he said "come la, follow me la... i bring u somewhere more fun. want??"
but thenn.. i was with my bf so cannot la. =.=

after a looooooooooong waitttttttttttttt saini's bike was finally done.
and at that point i was soooooo tired and sooooooo hungry
and feeling kinda PISSED. angry woman makes an angry woman u know?
but nvm, i just kept it in.
we went to singah selalu to makan.
saw mark and saufi =)
then my bf made me angry by saying something really stupid to me
which made me really REALLY angry
so i walked off to the toilet without saying bye
and then HE got angry. roar. nvm
then i walked off AGAIN to sit with mark n saufi
he LAGI angry. i LAGI satisfied.
mark... was.... dao.... cannot talk to him la =.= he very weird
then saufi came !! again!!
wished him selamat hari raye then talked abit
then i went back to my table. my bf merajok-ing at the table.
HAHAHAHAHA. but my face was worse than his...
i had the "I DONT CARE IF U ANGRY. I MORE ANGRY THAN U"
look on my face.

when we were about to leave is where the story REALLY begins.
ok. *breathes in* here goes....
so me saini and my bf were walking to the carpark
but mark, saufi and their frenz were already at the carpark
and mark was on and rxz.... (he doesnt even have a lisence)
but i guess he was just trying out the bike.
then... me and saini walked past them first
followed by my bf... then mark stupidly went to blow his pipe at my bf.
u know? the "voom voom voom" thing? yeah..
and the smoke was all around my bf
but he kept quiet la.
so my bf beacame lagi angry.
so mark and saufi's group left the carpark first
then after like 3 mins later
we left the carpark... and i KNEW my bf was gonna try to over take them
and like show off la.
but i was just praying that he wouldnt
cos then... it would be so awkward since both groups are my frenz =.=
true enough...
after we left the car park i could still see mark's bikes infront.
and my bf rode faster and faster until we overtook them
then he didnt stop.
suddenly he RED LIGHT. and my bf stopped
then 5 seconds later
mark's bikes went zoooooming past us
about 5 bikes went "vooom" x5
so paiseh man.
they went past the red light. i think its normal in malaysia kan?
nvm. i know my bf getting more n more angry
cos now he knows that they wanna sort of "play" with him la =.= childish sia.
then after a while we overtook them again.
this time, i think mark asked saufi to pump it up
and their scrambler went "VOOOOOOOOOOOM" so fast
but too bad, we turned into the petrol station
and they did that for nothing. HAHA. paiseh.
so now.... i guess.....
both groups got conflict and im in the middle
thought of msging saufi and say sorry for my bf's actions
but then my bf FORBID me to do so.
so im not gonna msg him.

ok done.
no more.
END.
now 7am
havent sleep sia.
got school at 8.
baik la.

FUCK LIARS. but im one of 'em.

2006-10-29T14:41:00.000-08:00

"hao xin mei hao bao"
having a good hearted intention doesnt bring you good awards?
something like that. sounds very broken.
its like u do something good for someone,
but it back fires and that someone doesn't appreciate it or he does something rude in return.
i hate it when u ask someone a very very direct question and that person
lies straight to your face. And u find out later that it's a staight up lie.
and this isn't the first time.
i dont think he'll read this anytime soon.
U're one good liar, really.

Its 7 in the morning and im starting school at like 1....
doubt i'd be able to make it =.=
Anyway.. Went raye visiting last saturday.
wore my kebaya.... omg... the bottom was made of silk and kind of tight fitting
and i had to ride on a bike. had to get myself into this weird position.
so paiseh-ing. I just kept covering my face with the vicer.
We went to a few houses only, some of them thought i was malay.
then i duno how to like..... salam them and stuff.
so i just hug them and said selamat hari raye. hahahaha.
duno if can or not... =.= but i think they didn't mind la.
stupid wan was laughing all the way.
it was.... FREAKIN CROWDED. so many ppl squeeze into one house.
about 20 plus of us went visiting together.
every house we went to... we had to squeeze on the floor... haha cute la.

took a few pics.... i look fat =.=
or maybe i AM fat.
we look very... old fashioned couple. eeeee. eeeee. eeee.
we look like a mother and a father. Dont really like it. hahhaha. but ok la.
kinda lazy to blog anymore...
so i'll just continue after school.

This pic OK u know. But then....

Its starts to look a bit corny.... then....

It looks like we are husband and wife.. ee.... then...

This looks like "Ur father and mother" kind of pic. zzzz.

Selamat hari raye!

2006-10-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

WAHAHAHA
I've finally got my lappy back!
yeah yeah yeaaaa!!!

Anyway school sucks as always...
but recently its been more of the stress that im trying to cope with
the modules are getting harder
and they require me to go to school everyday. suxors.
Other than that, i miss everyone so much man..
haven't really spent time with them since school re-opened
yati, iszat, has, elly, hajar, yenny.. these people la! always never come lecture!
I MISS U GUYS!

holidays were a bit packed for me,
i didnt work... spent most of my time with marcus and derek and wan. =)
some people keep asking me for a CLEAR photo of my bf.
but im sooo lazy to put the pics in proper order,
so im just gonna dump all of 'em at the end of this entry.

other than that, hari raye is here!!!
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!
this year's hari raya abit stressfull sia...
need to borrow baju kurong frm ppl to go visiting...
went to geylang a shit load of times to buy stuff.
saw a shit load of people.
did a shit load of pushing.
esp today!! last day of fasting... so freakin packed man. madness.
felt like i was about faint.... couldn't even get a proper dosage of oxygen.
o yeah... went to bugis to watch the fire works too.. so nice =)

and im lazy to write anymore.

thats it. no more. finish. end. thank you. visit again yeah?

booooooooooooooooo u

2006-10-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

I think i made i thru this sem....
i THINK only la.
my mentor called me and told me that he's doing my time table.
so i guess that means i didnt fail?? HAHAHAHA. yaye.
but not confirmed. Gotta check it for myself again later on.
so happy.

anyway... getting my lappy back tmr!!! can upload all the pics and stuff.
bet its gona be fun. =) to play with my laptop again.
now a days been hanging out with my bf and his friends.
they are so cute, cannot tahan. they're all like 20 plus already
but they are a fun bunch of people, plus they have more freedom than us, teens.
fine... he may be a malay and some of my chinese friends make fun of me.
but i dont really care cos to me, race isn't an issue at all.
shit man, im perankan chinese and jap. i think ive grown up to be this way.
accepting of everyone.
everyone is the same! we eat, drink, shit and laugh all the same.
so WHO CARES. The only thing im afraid of is like... when i first meet new girls,
like my bf's friend's gf's... do i "salam" them or WHAT.
later they think i so anti social kind. But im not a muslim. so i duno.

Anyway, i cried. shhhh. I cried at my bf's work place.
HE MADE ME CRY!
and i have no idea why also, even when he asked me why i cried, i didnt know how to ans.
cos i really didnt know.
hahha. maybe i was just damn tired, and just wanted to sleep but he didnt let me.
im such a baby =(

i've been with him for 3 months already. kinda shocking.
thought it wouldnt last so long.
but YEAH. i know this one's gona hurt a lil if we break up.

vespa

2006-10-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

I have a friend.
His name is marcus TAN.
He wanted to get a vespa.
I thought it wasn't practical and kinda weird to get a vespa.
I prefered to get a real bike.
but after today... I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND!

I went down to memorial park today...
soooo many vespa ppl there. And their vespa's werent the lousy cha chat kind.
they were really nice looking... I SWEAR.
and they were bloody cool la... i think there were like12 vespa's altogether.
we went riding with them.. it started off kinda disgusting cos the vespas exhausts had
a shit load of smoke, take that x 12. and it was damn noisy too. but when we hit the
highway. omg man i was so bloody shocked.
i used to think vespa's could only go to a MAX of 100km/hr.
but these guys were like 136km.hr which is bloody fast for a scooter.
we rocked the entire highway la.... the cars all gave way for us sia.
but i think they were just afraid that they'd hit one of us. haha.
i was the camera woman for the day... taking loadsa pics at the traffic lights and stuff.
i looked damn dumb, i know. like so kookoo. never see this kinda thing before.

vespa damn style la.... DAMN STYLE.
its fast... almost as fast as our gilera.
its cheap!
its easy to handle
its a girl scooter
BUT its hard to maintain.
today i saw the guys do all the maintainance themselves.
they took out the boxes, they adjusted the pipes. all by themselves.
kinda amazing, everyone knew how to maintain and fix their bikes. no need to go shop.

when i get my lappy back, i will upload ALL the pics.

I WANT VESPA.

un-individual

2006-09-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

If there's such a word as un-individual...
that would be me.
The holidays have been really shit for me and i've regret every damn things ive done.
but sometimes there's just no use regretting. There's no use being sorry.
There's no use in thinking about what u've done.
so what am i supposed to do? what's useful now? i have no freakin idea.

I've seen the love of my mum... something people have been telling me about.
"ur mum loves u so much, cant u understand?"
well... now i can. and i feel like i've let her down in so many ways.
i just dont want her to feel more stresesd out.
I appreciate all the times she was there for me... and that's like 24/7
even if she's working.

Sometimes i just want a sister. Or someone who has the same interests as me
who feels the same way as me.
somehow... i feel alone now. damn bloody alone.
no matter how people say "ill always be here for u"
haha... i dont believe it. its just sweet words which hold no real meaning.
countless people have said that.
but look at me now. all alone. God. this is pathetic. self pity.

Im being emo? i have all the damn right in the whole bloody world to be emo.
u havent been thru what ive been thru... so u wont know anything would u?

anyway. i dont even know if im still in poly cos the dam system is screwed
and i have no idea when's the sub paper. bloody hell. NO ONE CALLS ME
so how am i supposed to know? huh? i duno either.
so basically now.. i duno if i failed anything (which im sure i did)
and i duno when there's a sub paper.
anyway if there's a sub paper i think i missed it.
if i fail math again im outta school. yaye right. i just wasted my mums time and money.
hard earned money.
wasted.
on
me.

chocolate chip and cookie dough

2006-09-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

IM BORED and I WANT A BIKE.
well.. i really want a bike. But i just JUST realised its kinda not important
at the moment.
im constantly slacking at home.
and i guess the money would be better off spent on like...
clothes and stuff =(
oh well.. i promised a few ppl that when school re-opens,
i'd have a different style... and stuff.
IVE GOTTA BE A GIRL.
i need more girl friends, yes derek.. i know.
so.. i guess i gotta start off by looking like a girl. hahahhaha.
omg..... time for girly stuff. i dont know if i can make it or not.
i will try my best. believe me, im sick of myself too.

and i found out that im seroiusly the laziest person i know ON THIS EARTH.
i dont have a job [something which i SHOULD HAVE at this point of time]
im constantly doing nothing......... its killing my brain cells.
argh.. ive gotta do something soon

lost in black

2006-08-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy with everything.
my social life has become a mess...
im feeling confused... it's hard to be happy when everything's not right.
i wish i was not who i am.

Agatha Bey
1913 - 2006
we love and adore you lao ma.
May heaven opens it's doors for you.
we all will miss u...
May u sit with our father.
Rest in Peace.

some things are just too real to be posted on an online blog.

if i lay here... if i just lay here, would u lay with me and just forget the world.

yoko

2006-08-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

I went to watch fireworks!!! at wans work place....
we had to climb up this stupid ladder... it was so freakin high..
i could feel my heart thumping.
but the view was worth it la.
me wan, and his other couple fren were up there at the highest point of the building..
tried to take pics but it was too dark.

After the fireworks we went down to cine.. to slack w our frenz..
it was damn crowded, saw a few hi bye frenz.
then we rode off to boat quay to meet up with andy.
andy sucks. haha. really. andy sucks.
wan and i were just supopsed to eat and head somewhere else..
but andy kneeled infront of me and begged me to go clubbing w them.
we said, we didnt wanna waste money.
and he offered to treat us. everything. @_@
wan got really pissed off.. but to show andy some face, we just followed him.
so wan had to move his bike at the carpark...
on the way to the carpark while i was on the bike,
this angmoh guy winded down his taxi window and shouted at me
"eh.. u wanna suck some cock?"
"U WANT ME TO SUCK UR MINI-COCK? ..!.. kiss my ass"
i told wan to stop the bike. But he didnt hear me.
so NVM. we went to gotham w andy n shaun. BUTTT...
we couldnt bring in the helmets.. so troublesome.
had to go all the way back down to lock the helmets.
then on the way BACK to gotham, wan saw rashid, my "EX"
fucking mood spoiler sia... serious.
if i had seen rashid with my own two eyes, things wouldnt have been so pleasent.

Yesterday went to meet this new guy, Firdah... he was a pretty nice fella.
my first impression of him was kinda like... "this guy is a typical mat.. tattoo and everything"
but thennn.. he's such a sweet funy guy.
we talked about his past and stuff... and he's a changed person =)
we walked past esplanade... and guess what.
i saw kino. stupid ass told me he was gonna study =.=
then we met up again later on at marina bay..
i met kino's korean gf, so sweet la she!
went home w kino n gang.. merepek la korang.

janine

2006-08-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

Guess who took this pic.

Ayang staring at his bike. Scared ppl steal his helmet.

fann wong n terrence chow came to my school
they filmed with some nursing ppl... i hate..............

Im not doing this post just cos to suck up to janine for not posting about her the other day.
im doing this post cos... it made me think a lot.

im freakin confused now. And i dont know what to do. ROAR!!
Im finding it hard to keep all my friends satisfied.
guess i lack time management la.
Now that there's an extra someone in the picture, things have gotten
verrry squeezy with time.
I WANNA go back to secondary school days.
the times with JUST me n janine... in sch
going against the social norms of KC life.
we communicate on a weird frequency.
no wonder she's been the only person who
ever ever understood what i've been going thru
who i am... and she can read my mind too.
JANINE. hayz... u're the only one who knows me la k. seriously.
thank God to have found someone like u.
knowing u, u're gonna make fun of this oh so dramatic mambo jambo shit i just posted.
hahaha. love u.

wa happy national day la eh?

2006-08-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

Mizuki

Yoko

Nina

Katsuki

Double tongue piercing?? nah.

alot of things happened.
im just tooo damn lazy to blog.
and im barely home. and IF im home, i'd most prob be sleeping.
gwaa gwaa gwaa.
so this post i guess is gonna be just for ivan.
ivan wrote a poem for me.
he thinks he's a bloody sweet brother. BUT HE'S NOT!
national day was bloody fun, made a lot of new frenz and coincidentally met
4 grps of good old friends on the way home.
anyway..

DEREK- aiya... 4 yr brother, what can i say. thanks for all the fun we had. and DONT LEAVE ME. u know what i mean.
IVAN- ok, this post was for u, pls come back to singapore ASAP. fuck ur sch, fuck ur gf and get ur ass hereeee!! we miss u.
NORRIS- eh babe, thanks for all the night calls and im sorry i pang seh u tt day. didnt mean to.
MARK- MY GOSH! my lame msn buddy. BILE NK GI MALAYSIA! miss ur bloody lame jokes which nv fail to crack me up la. serious.
KINO- dont forget this weekend ah!! i miss u sia... SERIOUSLY MISS U TILL CANNOT MISS U ANYMORE LA K. i wanna meet ur korean gf.
ALL MY NYP PEEPS. dya, zahid, yati, izat, has, elly, hajar, YENNY BABY, hafid, shuan, tyrone, leslie syg, im so gonna miss u all during the holidays.

To BAEY & JAMES. i hope the ecp chalet was fun for u guys.
To RAYNER! thanks for inviting us to ur bd bbq today, had a lot of mosquito bitess sia.
stupid ritz mansion.
to RIDUAN AKA WAN. aiyaaa.... ur party was dam fun la, bt sry we gt u so drunk...
till u couldnt even ride home. SRY.

Derek at our chalet.

This was a portion of how fucking messy n fun our chalet was

Wan at the kallang bridge.

eeeeeeeeee.. mat mat mat.. eeeeee

Derek posing with my helmet. power ranger.

fuck this extra large helmet!
she's mine now. all mine. and im gonna decorate her soon.
u know how some helmets smell like SHIT inside? mine smells freakin nice, i have no idea y.
if only blogs had some smelling device to let u smell it.

i just woke up

2006-08-03T05:18:00.000-07:00

i dont know what ive been doing now a days.
really. i forgot what i've been doing.
all i remember is that... i didnt go to school on monday,
i went to school on tuesday for night class...
but i slacked around with shuan n tyrone, smoking in school.
then i went to malaysia after school.

shaun is gonna die young. just look at the way he smokes man. terrible.

tryone. nice name. stupid boy. LOL. joke!

Then on wednesday... which was yesterday.
i woke up late, i went down to PS to meet derek n guan...
was supposed to buy pressies but didnt have cash.
so we just shopped around

Me, derek n guan. =D yeah, derek's behind the mirror half naked and tts guans legs.

then we went to balestier to catch a movie... "click"
and i remember i cried in the cinema.
FREAKING SAD SHOW! EVERYONE GO WATCH CLICK!!
thennnnnn.... riduan fetched me from balestier
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. went to eat dinner.. went shopping at like 11pm.
did u know singapore had a 24hr shopping centre??
mustaffa centre. wooooo.
we ate dinner.. slacked around then we went to mount faber.
talked for like 3 hours. then we went home.

wan trying to act cool on his bike. i said dont move =.=
He thinks he's super man.
finally la eh? a good pose.

d days

2006-07-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

my monkey face la.

OK. ive got a retarded thumb thanks to the japanese father.

main point here is... this is my new ink. =)

Spent my weekend with derek chan again.
it was as fun as usual.
but yesterday i kinda... pang seh them.
so he's angry at me now. =( ok la... this time im gonna admit it was my fault. w/o excuses.
BUT i dont think about myself.
i may be lazy, i may be late due to vanity.
anyway, the aircon man came over yesterday.
And he was kinda cute. stupid me, i told derek i thought the air con man was cute
and he shouted "WAT! U THINK THE AIR CON MAN CUTE AH??"
in front of mr.air con man. fuck la. paiseh.
what to do, kinda expected of him.

went to bugis... derek is cute when he plays HOD.
and its a good thing he plays HOD, it draws in the crowd at the arcade.
not to mention cute guys.
anyway, thanks for trying not to die tt day derek. the eye candy was good.derek playing HOD. Eye candy. u know?
he draws in the crowd man.

after bugis we headed down to marina south to have some dinner.
and we saw these stupid drunk teenage kids. barely 15.. and they were puking by the road
so we came up with this idea... to call the cops.
derek went to call 999.... HOHOHO. we were so pumped man.
excitedly waiting for the cops. BUT THENN they took so damn long
and the kids had already went off.
it took the police like 30mins to get to marina south.
freaking spoiler la. we the pao to kias.
looks like we aint in singapore rite? we're in taiwan.
esprite shirt.
derek n me and marina south mrt.
cool floors

whos got control of that damn smoke machine!

2006-07-27T00:26:00.000-07:00

My babies. My room. mine mine mine.

smoke machine man! can u count the ciggies?

this is where 10 yrs of catholic school has brought me to.

Who's hand is tt man?

My friend's work place. can u believe it?

Loaded with pics all over

FUCK SKL. it made my lose my voice =(

his wrk place has a bed for him n his frenz to slp. SLACKER LIFE sia. envious.

ok i just got bored and decided to snap random pics.
had presentation today.
and that STUPID SKL CIGS made me lose my voice just before presentation.
roar! never the less... im super woman. =p

went to wan's "work place". freaking hell. i dont think its even called work if u're not doing
any damn thing man. The room was nice though. pics of them all over the walls.
some funny gay pics.. some mad ass drunk pics. shit loada stuff.
saw his ibanez....... awwww... damn. b-e-a uuutiful.
after which he tompang me home on his bike.
he says i sit on his bike like an ah lian. dammit! what an insult.
shall practice being a good pillon tonight when i go m'sia w chris. LOL.

WHICH room nicer?! mine or wan's. ok la... duh. wan's.

sleep, wakeup, smoke, eat, smoke, school, smoke, walk, smoke, home smoke, sleep.

ps. shaun my smoking khaki, u just plainly rock socks. Poly life would be a bore without u.

pain2

2006-07-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

he came down with his new gf last night
and it hurt me a little. but i just laughed it off.
if not, there'll be a shit lod of conflict between our groups. confirm.
and sooner or later, they'll fight with each other.
i know im just lying to myeslf every damn day.
but when he got into a fight last night cos of lao tzi.
and got hurt.
that was worst than anything i could imagine.
i couldnt hide it anymore.
where was his gf when he tio dai ji? laughing w his ginna.
where was she when his hands were bleeding? playing billard.
damn tt bitch la.
at least if she was there to look after him..
my heart wouldnt feel so.. so... argh.
i was about to help him but... then i thought again.
fuck it la, i shouldnt be the one helping him, it should be his gf.
i swear i could feel my heart...
after all the plastic laughters came the reality of silence.
i left him alone, turned my back and walked away.
each step i walked further away frm him, the more i felt my heart break.
everyone asked what's wrong with me.
and i just couldnt explain it. The person i used to love was fucking bleeding infront of me.
i just said i was tired. some could see right thru me, some were just blur.
angmo kio, one year here and it's already held so many memories for me.

fuck it la. waiter!! 1 new boyfriend pls!

blood

2006-07-24T04:24:00.000-07:00

What's happening to the world.
Everything's a big fat mess.
we live in poop
and we are poop people!

sat night i went down to feiying again. lifeless. i know.
give me a life and i'll live it, but for now, let me live this lifeless life.
it was someone's birthday some lao ta or something.
saw a few ah beng frenz, didnt really wana drink
so i just sat with ah boy.
after a while... this huge fight started. Bottles started flying everywhere.
chairs were smashed.
lights were broken.
the walls were dented.
all the lao pui shouting at each other.
then there was this old guy who ran and stood on the stage and shouted
"KNNB CCB! KAKI NANG!! KAKI NANG LA!"
honestly, i was a bit scared. for the first time.
it was nothing compared to katong last time
when kelvin kena stabbed in the ass.

anyway.. all the ginna ran to help them la... they pulled out
the injured people. and brought them to this room.
wa lan. i was kinda freaked out ah... the bloody was oozing outta this guys head.
damn man. it was damn grose.
helped out a bit la. tried to stop the blood and shit
but got blood all over my jeans =.=
ok then finally... things got settled then...
another fight came along.
i was sitting at counter. and the fight was just beside counter. damn man,
they anyhow wack each other. i was just stunned.
hayz. couldnt be bothered with this kinda ah beng shit.
sitoh wanted to patch w me tt night.
but a lot of things happened tt night.
just started to hate him alot suddenly.

yesterday night went to bugis to eat with my besties.
damn funny sia. we couldnt eat finish the steam boat
so we just stuffed everything into the soup
and guan was forced to eat everything.
damn grose.
then didnt have money to go home so irwan fetched me frm bugis
went to slack at his wrk place for a while then came home.

today.... boring la. just went school for half an hour then went home.

lost in singapore

2006-07-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

Been thinking recently.
who am i?
I've reached the point of uncertainty.
People judge me on how i look.
When the actual fact is, i dont even really know who i am at all.
Some people dont even know what to call me.
so most call me minah-lian. =.=
am i a minah or a lian? i DONT WANNA BE EITHER.
some call me PUNK?
wooooo.. dunno wat to say about tt one.
some call me a tomboy, some call me a bimbo?
that's 2 totally different people dammit.
some think im chinese educated [amazingly]
but im an english educated kid.
some think im friendly, some think im dao
some think im an extrovert, some think im an introvert.
do u see the confusion in my head???
guess i just need some time on my own
to figure out who i am and stop making people confused.
One thing about me, i realise is that i do things on impulse.
i go with the flow
and as a result, i tend to do things half way.
which is a very bad habbit.
whenever i encouter a problem, i chao.
BOOM. im gone in a sec. like work. like school. like friends.

someday just hope to find someone who I like...
instead of someone who likes me.

ANYWAY.
toto and batman stayed over last night.
it was pretty darn funny.
we were supposed to sleep at like 12am.
BUT those stupid idiots decided to watch cartoons.
and i never thought tom and jerry could be so damn funny esp
with them around. we cracked up at every scene. hahaha.
reminded me of... my past.
we shared every single ciggie, every drink, every food tt came our way.
mainly cos we were damn broke.
and then at like 6 plus they woke up at the same time.
and started talking a lot.... till it woke me up.
they were saying that they both had bad dreams which woke them up.
batman dreamt tt he was chasing de li around amk central
and beat him up.
when we heard tt we were all kinda... "oh man, what does tt dream mean"
then
sitoh dreamt tt he got chopped with a parang..............
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. lol
i couldnt stop laughing.
meaningless dream.
we all woke up at the same time and went to our seperate ways
toto went to camp
batman went to work
and i went to school =)
the idiots came up with this. me, max and sitoh.
tag team.
batgirl, batman and robin.

heard this thing about sitoh "sitoh is one of the best tao, he know how to look after everyone so well. Now no more under him le, so sad... sometimes i think about it i also cry. miss him alot."

well... stioh sitoh sitoh. good brother, bad boyfriend.

back

2006-07-17T03:54:00.000-07:00

YEAH!!! thats all 17 of us!!! big big outting

Derek trying to scare me with his tongue. ooo.. scary... yeah.. sure.

ok this was a candid shot i SWEAR.

This is yoko with endless hours to kill

I MISS MY EYEBROW PIERCING DAMMIT!

I have no freaking idea where my best gal pal went!
nadiah bte azman has officially gone missing.
well. i woke up at like what?? 4am today.
such a weird timing sia. i felt kinda weird, like u're in the middle of no where. LIFELESS.
used the com for a while then toto called me and asked me to go down to central.
so i bathed, changed and decided to go to school straight frm central.
ok this part is kinda scary la... as i was walking to central which is like 2 bus stops away frm my hse, at 445 am i was stoning as usual, looking at the ground, walking, when suddenly
i saw this shadow behind me. so i just moved aside la, thinking it was someone behind me.
but then... i turned around, and no one was there. have no freakin idea if it was something
or if it was just me. aiya. i think its just me la.
that happened like 1/4 way to amk central.
the rest of the 3/4 way... believe me... i was so damn paranoid.
i kept forcing myself to look infront cos u know the saying la....
if u think there's something behind u, dont turn back.
just act as if nothing happened.
but its hard sia... just feel so KPO, wanna know wats behind u.

reached central... saw toto in his civil defence unifrom. haha. kinda cute la.
i love men in uniform.
same old routine la... play billard, play dai di, slack, talk cock, eat free breakfast
then fuck off! go to school!
happy go lucky carefree life.
as long as i go to school everyday, study for exams, keep away frm drugs,
dont fall in love.. my life will be a BLISS. i wish.

went to school. and did stupid things. was kinda curious about this classmate of mine.
his life's been a mystery to me. i duno wat he likes, wat he does. TOTAL MYSTERY
so i went to ask him today la... "wats ur life like"
then he just said "u spend a week with me la, eveywhere i go u follow"
i was kinda shocked sia. but it seems like a good offer.
really curious how people lead their lives.
if only life came wit an instruction manual.

being single can be boring. dont u agree?
just not used to it.

jealous

2006-07-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

Im jealous.
why does everyone have a stead now a days.
im like the only one who's alone. i dont even like anyone.
gotta change my mindset. i should stop looking for a bf
COS the right one will come along one day. =D

been out of the house a lot recently.
mostly been hanging out at balestier and amk central...
and im sick again. i think guan's dead grandma's spirit doesnt like me
staying over at his place or something... cos everytime i stay over,
i get sick. have a very very sore throat. damn pain. cant even talk properly.

anyway, slept till like 4pm today then slacked at home
at about 2am i called max to get my laptop back,
my inital plan for the day was just to get the laptop n go home n SLEEP.
cos i need rest.
but then... max made me wait for an hour at amk central
so i got bored and went up to feiying.
yeah yeah yeah.. big mistake la.
played billard for like 5hrs?
then follow deli play his stupid jackpot thing until lose 100+
then he sent me to the bus stop. haha, still want to chia my cab home.

well, its like 1130 now and im supposed to meet the rest at 1
for a BIG meeting. A reunion much needed.
about 15 of us going. and its the first time im gonna meet up w jiarong
just cos i didnt have a partner for today.
well... plan to eat seoul garden at bugis then catch a movie at cine.
but i think i'll be totally shagged by then la.

got my baby back, gonna upload pics soon. =)

arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

2006-07-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

I didnt sleep
cos i had school at 9am...
I cleaneeeeed myself...
i brushedddd my teeth
i forrrrceddd myself to go to schoooooollll
i dressed myself up nicely.
i packed my bag
and i rushed to school.
and then.........
NO CLASS. teacher never come.
and my next lesson is like at 1.
WTF RIGHT. WTH. OMG. MAD. ANGRY
i am so blooooody pissed off at the moment!
somemore its raining! so shiok. i should be home! sleeeeeping k.
okie. okie??? im going home to sleep now. im not going for math later on.
im just gona slp all the way. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. sleeeeeeeeeeeep la!

waste my 90cents to come to school. idiot.

lappy gone missing =(

2006-07-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

i just realised that
my laptop has gone missing for a bloody long time.
kino, if u're reading this... I need it back by this weekend,
my mummy needs to do some office work. =D paiseh
can upload pics too.

anyway... its erm... like 8am in the morning?
and it just started raining. so shiok sia. feel like sleeping already
but i got school at 9... havent slpt yet.
my internal clock got problem la... havent been sleeping at the right time.
been hanging out w max toto jackson n deli.
slack with them till 9 in the morning then go home slp till night.
but today got school! damn.
honestly, i miss toto but we're not serious.
i wasnt serious with him, how can i expect him to be serious w me.
we just got no..... no..... relationship quality??
playing billard, playing dai di... all this shit reminds both of us
of the times we were together. =.=
anyway,
gotta adjust my clock back to normal.
actually i pretty much planned out my day already.
after school, meet dc go gaigai, most probably bugis
go buy stuff or suazzz stuff i should say.
bugis got a lot of act-jap ppl. canot tahan. esp the girls.
but the guys... wooooooot. they are quite hot ah.
FYI. im a jap therefore i have the right to classify ppl as "act-jap" ppl.
wahahhaa.
saw this super er... obese... ahlian/actjap/act cute girl
at bugis. er... damn sickening.
i mean.. dont these people have mirrors at home or something?
they look horrid in those clothes.
at least wear something more decent and ppl wont notice ure tt fat. lol.
damn, im mean. sry.

toto =(

sickest sicko is sick to the bone

2006-06-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

SICKEST SICKO IS SICK TO THE BONE

im sick. this sucks. my head is throbbing at its like 2am in the morning.
my tummy still feels like shit.
and the worst part is no one's here to look after me.
guess i've been pampered too much by my ex's and by my mum.
now tt im independent. i cant really depend on anyone.

anyway, school is starting to suck.
close to getting kicked out AGAIN.
the feeling is so... fucked up. u have no idea.
the only person who used to be there for me has a new friend. JEEZ.
omg. it is said tt God doesnt give u anything u cant handle.
well God, i cant really handle this at the moment.
i need help.
i need someone.

just wanna be pampered again. jeez.

found a new friend. frm the yr1 math class. see! i knew it!
i wasnt so bad after all. im capable of making frenz with total strangers.
and he's super nice to me. but i kinda forgot his name,
bad at memorizing chinese names. hsiu chi. or something.

anyway made a few new frenz on frenster. pretty nice guys
hope one of them at least would be a close fren in the future.
jiarong frm spencer's grp.
maroon frm God knows where. but he's a designer. cool huh?
lastly... IQ! he added me on msn. used to have this huge crush on him
and now he's talking to me about this windows xp sounds scheme
which says every letter u type out.
its super funny. hahaha.

well well, i guess its true. let go of the past, live in the present and love the future.
i will do that.

fucked up tummy down

2006-06-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

wa fuck.
im getting a lot of emtional break downs recently
i think i cant handle stress at all.
feeling like fuck right now.
i cant adapt to changes at all.
firstly. the change from school to holiday
was pretty ok since i could slack at home
but i felt like i had nothing to do and the boredom killed me.
bt it got better after meeting up w derek.
now.. the change frm holiday to school
is totally killing me with all the exams and projects.
the change frm mum wrking one job to 2 jobs is anther killer
the change frm me not working to working EARLY mornings on weekends is killing me more.
jeez. and now i have a nasty tummy problem.
wtf!
fuck this shit man. fuck it.

i miss derek.
i miss mummy.
i miss shaun.. ok tt was random.

cherry berry's merry fairy

2006-06-26T02:33:00.000-07:00

First day of school is not what i expected it to be.
Usually someone would call me to ask where i was.
but today. no one. thank god for dya.
first lesson was bpo test. flunked it i guess.
and elaine was infront of me somewhere.
kept looking at her.
and it made me lose focus on my paper.
kept thinking if he was happier w her than me.
kept thinking whats wrong with me.
i thought n thought n thought till i forgot i was having a test.
oh well... later in wong kb's lecture one of her frenz gave me a bitchy stare.
ooooo. makes u wonder what the hell is going on doesnt it?
i just.... dont wanna know whats going on. im just gona wait till...
till.. tmr's night class with d3 to find out. if they all dont talk to me anymore.
i've got nothing to say but that justins a bastard.
i didnt do anything wrong. but God knows what he told her to make her so pissed.
and God knows what she told her class.
or maybe im just over-thinking too damn much.
the ppl in nyp... some may be friendly and nice
but most just cannot make it.
wonder why i went into engineering informatics in nyp.
i bet other courses or even other schools
would have much more fun ppl.
anyway. got another test tmr. serious lack of slp.
gona push derek off and fall asleep on my bed.

lesson of the day: never tell anyone about ur love life.

signing off in a dampened mood today.
-Mizuki

soccer bonkerzz

2006-06-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

we are actually standing in the middle of the fountain ah!

SOCCER FEVEER!
first game port bet 40 win 80
i know its little la. BUT its means a lot to us
we went to bugis to buy my shirt
then we went to guan's to celebrate.
1 bottle tiger, 1 bottle heiniken and 1 bottle jim bean
can do shit loads to ur brain... and ur tummy.
we played 5 10
until they both went to the toilet to puke.
hahahha. was laffing at them, calling them noob all.
BUTTTTTTT.. at like 8am in the morning.
i felt my tummy churning... and... i started feeling like fuck.
i TRIED to hold in my vomit ahh..... BUT THENNNNNN..
i puked =.= lucky they sleeping.
brazil vs japan, bet total goal 3. LOSE
Corentia WIN
we went amk central to watch.
saw a fren. derek got bird shit on his shirt while walking home.
derek spilled coke. I spilled milo.
MONEY COMING IN
Ukraine vs Tunisia. LOSE.
Togo vs France WIN
swiss vs korea WIN
Saudi vs Spain WIN.
ok la. didnt win much
TODAY
i went to bet myself. duno if can make it or not.
but just played for fun.
not so confident
JUST PRAY!!!!
germany and mexico GOGOGO!!

anyway today was dam funny. derek and i were walking to amk mrt.
then got this MAT walking past us.
he banged into derek la.
then they got into a bit of a ... heated talk.
then decided to go their seperate ways.
LOL. derek gonna go cut n dye his hair black to look more guai.
good luck derek.

will upload pics when i get my laptop back.

wish myself happy birthday. landy wen

2006-06-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

This is for the non-chinese speaking ppl. (like myself)
i used to hate chinese songs, chinese class. just the chinese language in general.
dont know whats happening to me.
maybe its just a really nice song. ok. JUST LISTEN.

wo zhi dao shang xing bu neng gai bian shen me
I know that sadness cannot change anything

na me rang wo cheng shi yi dian
Then, let me be honest a little

cheng shi er mei you bu neng kong zhi de xuan xie
Honesty, but without control over the divulgence

zhi yao guan shang le men bu bi li shui
As long as the door is closed, don't care about anyone else

yi ge ren zhuo zai kong dang de bao xiang li mian
One person sitting in an empty stall of a theatre

shou ji rang ta xiu xi yi ye
Moblie phone, let it rest for a night

nan xiang qie ge qie diao hui yi de hua mian
Difficult, tried to cut away the images of the memories

yan lei bu neng liu guo shi er dian
Tears cannot flow past twelve o'clock

sheng ri kuai le wo dui zi ji shuo la zhu dian le ji mo liang le
Happy Birthday, I say this to myself, the candle is lit, the loneliness becomes colder

sheng ri kuai le lei ye rong le wo yao xie xie ni ge de ni na zhou de yi qie
Happy Birthday, tears have melted, I want to thank everything you have given and taken away

hai ai ni dai yi dian hen hai yao shi jian cai neng pin heng
Still love you with a little hatred, still need time to balance

re lian shang hen hua mian chong sheng zhu wo sheng ri~kuai le
Passionate love's wounds, the rebirth of images, wishing me a Happy Birthday..

jump up n down n all around.

2006-06-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

My heart is done so just cut it up and throw it away. its useless to me now.

I am in deep deep shit.
Give me someone to crush over
and i will forget him.

After all this while...
after this whole year of crushing.
justin's an ass?
wow. i think im like an asshole magnet or something.
well... i really liked him.
thought he did too, but after we broke up...
he just went and found himself another girl.
that shows how much he likes me doesnt it.
but let's just fuck it alright?
make myself immune to this.
i just want my diploma and im out.
i will get over this. as long as people stop reminding me.
bottom line. NO MORE GUYS FOR ME.

someone call the shrink pls.

2006-06-19T13:35:00.000-07:00

Ok. what do u wan me to say?

today was a freakin boring day la.
i was supposed to meet up with peizhen at 12 for the interview
but... as usual i woke up late. 715pm to be exact.
hate waking up late, but i cant help it. im a pig. yaye =.=
so u can imagine, i was pretty glad to know tt pz cancelled the
meeting thing cos the guy went missing or smthing.
SO... there went my days' plans, down the drain.
nua-ed all the way.
am still nua-ing.
watched Lord of the rings on ch5. i never liked it
but i was just too freakin bored, and i actually enjoyed evey min of the show.

aniiiiwaeeee...
okasan decided to get me a new name
to improve my luck or something.
me and derek searched up a name.
and we came up with Mizuki. yup.
its gonna be in my IC.
Yoko Nina Mizuki Katsuki.
no comments on the name la.
since mum wants it, i will be a good girl and get it. =)

My hp was very oddly quiet today.
and i felt kind of empty.
No one was looking for me.
woke up to 1 msg and 5 missed calls.
frm the same person, pz.
sad la.
miss sitoh's missed calls in the wee hrs.
miss acits 100 missed calls at 7.
miss justin's msgs.
miss derek's lame msgs once in a while.
miss marcus's pestering.
miss max jio-ing me out to amk.
miss kino calling me to chat.

relationships spoil friendships.
thats what ive realised. no more for me.
just gonna wait for the person to come to me
instead of looking for someone.

Anyway. about the justin thing.
i've kind of made up my mind on it already.
since i've always been the one msging him and calling him.
im gonna stop. cos i feel like its useless.
he doesnt appreciate it. or he doesnt know how to show he appreciates it.
like today.
i controlled myself frm msging or calling him.
and i was online the whole day.
when i saw justin come online...
my heart... it skipped a beat.
and i just acted dao la. nv msg him and stuff.
and he msged me.
then told me he was going out and tt he would sms me.
he was unusually nice and entertaining today.
so i was kinda like "hey, are u really justin"
and he video conferenced me.
shit la. i miss him. shut up yoko. hayz.
whats urs is urs. whats urs can never be urs no matter how u try.
something i will never forget comming out of the mouth of my armed rival.
well ppl... its true.
justins not mine.
so much for the fairytale.

u know what? i dont know if im looking for a bf or a bestfriend.
i want more girlfriends...
cos i know if i become best friends with guys,
someone's gonna like each other...
and things are gonna mess up big time... like... some others.
i need someone to jio me out to town to catch a movie.
or someone to jio me to DXO or LR or Zouk.
someone to accompany me to make IC.
someone to keep me company when im so bored.
someone to invite me to events.
someone to smoke shee sha with.
someone to play pool with.
just someone i can get to know very well. like a sister/bro i never had.
something like derek and i.
just that derek is kinda busy with his sch n new frenz. =(
fuck it.
im going off. its 5am. waiting for my cheese prata.

4 days of rotten tomatoes.

2006-06-18T13:17:00.000-07:00

my best friends actually read my blog.

its good to know people actually care about me.
found a new reason for me to blog, tt would be..
to let my friends know what ive been up to. =D

In the past 4 days i've had the best fun...
fun, something i havent felt in a pretty long time.

Tuesday afternoon

Derek and I went to MJ's saloon at hougang to get my hair done =)
that was like the first day i met derek. he kept blabbering about kim, his ex. hahaha. poor guy.
understand how he feels la. Aunty susan did a great job with my hair as usual. and she remembered my name this time.

derek playing with pad =.=

smoking outside MJ's

After MJ's me n derek headed down to Sentosa
to meet his classmates JJ, Yiling and Yiling's bf adrian.
Met them at Tanjong beach.
Adrian was flairing with bottles.
REMINDED ME OF ASH AH!
fuck man. felt like going up to them and showing them
some REAL flare moves. fucking noobs. LOL. jk.
slacked around there, sat down by the beach...
they drank abit of burben coke & beers... but i didnt touch any. good yoko.
saw some fire ball flarers too.. fucking cool.
i wanna learn!!

after that went home... and broke up with Justin. =.=
DONT TALK ABOUT HIM.
fucking......... argh. nothing to say.

Thursday

Decided to meet up with derek today today so that we would be
able to get up for the Malaysia trip earlier tmr =D
Met derek at PS. and i was an hour late cos i woke up so freaking late! damn.
we walked around PS, ate long john and tried on some lame clothes la.
saw Kenneth. hate him but said hi anyway.
Then we decided that since we both didnt have cash
we'd go to balestier to sneak into a movie instead.
wanan sneak into cinema macham MISSION IMPPOSIBLE
fucking tiring.
derek had to run up n down the stair way just so that we both
could sneak into the cinema. but it was worth it.
we watched Silent Hill. nice show. and the FUCKER tried to scare me
by crawling under the seat and grabbing my leg. he made me jump ah!
Then we met kian guan and went for some prata supper.
guan was talking about shi hui, his new crush.
she told guan tt i was pretty awww *blush*!!!!
sweet.
the stupid prata uncle damn good at cheating money ah.
after we finished eating, we went to pay.
he anyhow wack the price of the prata and ice milo
then TRIED to make us pay extra.
then nvm.. i gave him like 4 dollars.
was supposed to get back like 1.30
but i got back only 30 cents.
the uncle think he dam pro, can anyhow cheat my money =.=
cheee toot.
then played billards with them.... it made me get a sitoh flashback.
miss that idiot =(
after billards, we went to stay over at guans place.
watched WetDreams2 freaking funny show sia.
then slept..... and slept... and slepptt.

Friday

Malaysia Day!!!!
*Smacks* tts how i woke up. derek just slaped my leg to wake me up.
we were supposed to meet kian guan's 3 other frenz at like 10.30
by the time i woke up it was like 9.45??
and i was the last to wake up. fish.
rushed down to kranji... but we were 1 hr late=.=
made his frenz kinda pissed.
but WHY CARE? i dont even know them
so i didnt really give a shit.
Malaysia was freaking fun la...
everytime we got a little sian...
we would just SMOKE, SMOKE AND SMOKE!!! WOOT!!!
and we ate and ate and ate. i think we ate like 3 meals between 1pm and 6m.

derek and me at holiday inn

Malaysia gangsters ah!!!!!
hahaha... our extreme make-over.

derek on the stupid osim horse thing. [city plaza]

of course we had to smuggle some cigs in la... if not we go m'sia
for nothing sia. Mission accomplished.. ahhh. dam shiok.
we smoke in m'sia. come back singapore also can smoke.
smoke till we die la.

After tt derek wanted to dye hair.
so he came over to my house to dye.
we ate at home, my mum bought a lot of food.
then we went to find hair dye.
but so fucking sway tt amk the 7-11 all dont sell dye.
so we had to walk all the way to amk central.
where i saw toh kia, samuel, kino and max.
they damn dao. and i was dam pissed
that they didnt even acknowledge me.
used to be so close to them.... the amk ppl. but... fuck love relaionships la.
so i just aked them for dye and fucked off from there
ANYWAY... we DIDNT GET DYE.
so we decided to wait the next day to buy the dye frm watsons
we went home and knocked out straight away. zzzzzz.....

Saturday

Today me and derek woke up pretty late
we had dinner and went down to watsons to buy the dye,
we helped each other dye then we ate more.
fucking ate a lot sia. i swear. dam full.
2 days of non stop eating will make u shit a lot.
after dying hair, we nua-ed all the way.
and we made my room a big mess.
my mum calls it the pig sty
it was so messy, i decided to take a pic.

this used to be my computer table
then we slept some more till the next day.
sounds kinda boring dont it?
but believe me, slacking with an old bro like derek
doing nothing
is much more fun than going out to meet my other frenz.
DEREK u rock socks la.
missed the feeling of slacking with someone u're so fucking comfortable with.
sorry for all the foul language.

Sunday

Woke up today with derek beside me again.
3rd day spent with him ah....
really feels like old days
woke up and saw him playing dota,
he woke me up and asked if i wanted to follow him meet
marcus and guan
OF COS I WANT LA
how long never see marcus sia. lol.
we changed and left my house.
went down to his house so he could change and stuff
met kian guan at his house bus stop.
frm the bus stop, me guan and derek
walked to dereks house.
thennnnnnnnnnnnnn when we reached there
i wished his dad happy fathers day.
and thennnnnn... derek got scolded
his mum started crying... something me n guan are very used to seeing.
we've been his frenz for so long, we know how his parents are la.
so we just decided to wait for him downstairs.
we waited for like half an hour
and poor marcus was alone at orchard ah..
then we rushed down la, since marcus was alone.
BUT. maki came along and derek talked to her for a long long time
his crush, wat do u expect??
i was getting kind of sick of waiting for him the whole day
luckily he told us to go find marcus first
if not, i surely fuck him up infront of her lor.
i hate to wait for ppl. altho i always make ppl wait for me la
i know its unfair. bt... HAHA. ok. im gonna change tt part of myself.
im not gonna be late anymore.
met MARCUS! miss this bro man. =)
we went to watch SHES THE MAN!
FUCKING funny show.
lol. not a waste of my 9.50 sia.

derek.me.marcus & guan. love them.

me and derek with our malaysian cigs.
Going up lido

Look at marcus's bimbo face. cannot tahan. LOL
andddd..... after the show. we all went our seperate ways.
thought of going down to find justin. miss him a lot.
but he like tired after wrk n stuff.
so i just took a bus home
on the bus, my hp went flat.
and when i reached home and charged my hp,
i saw derek's msg.
he said after spending so many days with him.
he felt empty without me.
so sweet right?
damn.
anyway. he just woke up
and im about to sleep.
so IM DONE BLOGGING.
tired.
its 7am
and i got to meet pz later at 2pm for the job interview.
IM GOING TO SLEEP.
wait.
maybe my mum buying prata breakfast.
eeee..
bb.

if only life & love had instruction manuals

2006-06-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

ok. i am seriously bored to death.
what do i do when im bored? good question. i start thinkin bout the most irrelevant things. like.. how many ex guys do i REALLY have. wow. wat a brain teaser. thanks for that bimbo moment. *Gosh. this pink skirt totally makes me feel like.... fat! get me a diet bar.*

i hate doing this... but its been bugging me like hell.
*holds breathe* so here goes.
these are my ex boyfriends, going along with the time line here.

Val aka Zeipher.
Crystabelle aka chris
Benny
Marc Ho
DEREK CHAN.
Hafyst
MHD RASHID BIN YATIM aka ASH aka ACIT
sitoh
justin

im not a fucking slut. ppl just like me.... cos im jap. AND THAT SUCKS.
i hate singaporeans... most of them. they like.... "cute" and "jap" and "kawaii" and "hentai" and "innocent" JEEZ. No matter what happens.. i only treat it like i had 2 ex boyfriends. so who ever asks me how many ex's i got im just gona say 2.
red symnolizes those i start to hate.
pink is for the one who i will never forget, ever.
blue is for the one who disappointed me.

~~Me and justin broke up.~~
~~why?~~
~~how?~~
~~when?~~
~~i dont wanna tok about it.~~
~~when i first went with him i wanted this to work so much.~~
~~i wanted this to be the best relationship i ever had.~~
~~i just wanted to feel loved.~~
~~he's the kinda guy i KNOW i will love more each day~~
~~instead of love less.~~
~~u know?~~
~~damn.~~
~~i wish i didnt go with him.~~
~~i wish this dream would go on and on.~~
~~i wish this stupid crush thing would just remain untouched in my mind.~~
~~in order to get his attention~~
~~i know~~
~~i gotta act as if i dont need him~~
~~act as if he dont mean shit to me.~~
~~lets play a game~~

i learned a shit load. and this is really good.

Dont love a guy more than he loves you
Dont act as if u'd die without ur bf
be strong and independent but not insensitive
whenever sending smses be short n sweet
Dont tolerate ppl who treat u like shit
If u dont like something about them, keep it in fer a while and if they persist. tell them straight to their face.
be faithful
Dont put too much hope
prepare to get hurt and DONT CRY FOR GODS SAKE
Never make you bf jealous on purpose
Be friends with him first
make sure u make GOOD frens with HIS frens (the connections HELP A LOT)
Let him know that u are not the kind of girl who cheats on her BF.
this is important make sure he KNOWS u love him but u dont NEED him.

feel da rythm. ouch.

2006-05-20T07:18:00.000-07:00

ALRIGHT!!!!!

i have been through the NERD stage. ppl in my sec sch would know. frm sec 1-2 i was a nerd. i admit it.

I have been thru the AH LIAN stage. frm sec 3 to 4 and a little of 2005.

I have been a BIMBO. fer a year. clubbin... shoppin.... bla bla bla. before poly started.

I have been a MINAH. when school started. thanks to the malays in my school. love ya'll.

I have been a PUNK. Something i have always felt comfort with. thanks to.... U KNOW WHO. im still exploring it.

and now..... kino's askin me to change... hip hop. JEEEEEZ. something im so dam unfamiliar with. HA_HA. joke of the year. yoko=hiphop.

we'll seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. where this life leadsss meeeeeeee.

i wanna make a list of what i wanna get. so here goes.

MY I-WANT LIST

A riding lisence= $500.

A bike KR = $200/mnth

A 3G hp. loud. nice pics. loadsa memory $600

IC $50

ez link $30

DO SOMETHING WACKY WITH MY HAIR $200

A shit loada new clothes. esp ma blingbling belt $200

Oh damn, i need school books $40

New paint job for my room $50??

New lights fer my room $80

Life's passing me by faster than i ever thought. i thought i was young. but dam, i just took a rain check. and... im 18. thats freakin old. IM OLD. and i dun wanna be. i better start living before my life goes down the dam drain. YOKO. WAKE UP! LIFE AINT ABOUT LOVE LOVE LOVE. ITS ABOUT LEARNING NEW THINGS AND BALANCING UR DAM LIFE. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!! damn. i really DO gotta wake up.

oo.. u ma eye candy.

2006-04-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

Life is more fun now than i ever thought it would be.

This is wat i thought would happen to me....

1. i would be miserable cos i retook 3 modules and i woulnt be with my class.
2. ash would break up w me and i'd be totally sad.
3. i'd be lonely with nothing to do everyday.
4. i might commit suicide.

this is wat has acutally happened to me.

1. i have made a whole bunch of new frenz from different classes due to me retaking my modules.
2. im closer to more people in my poly
3. me and acit are done! and i am SO OVER HIM. and i can focus on my studies.
4. i actually ENJOY going to school to see ma frenz.
5. because i broke up w acit... i've made a shit loada new frenz. and rekindled lost frenships. oo.

now a days... i hang out with...these groups..
- my neighbuours ie. sharul, zakir max and somtimes am.
everytime i see am... it reminds me of acit in a bad way. which is kinda good for me. TALAGA AM?

-old frenz ie. joshua, eric, spencer, noel, wei long, jerry, jeremiah and sometimes a shit load of other ppl i dont even know. this grps kinda fun cos they've always got something to do. which i can associate with. but the bad part is they remind me too much of derek. and it hurts whenever i think about him =( aww. none the less. they're fun. but they always go against the law. like going to geylang lor14 to get e or 5. then stabbing ppl. fighting with ppl. stealing. shit like tt. which reminds me EVEN MORE about the days i spent w derek. damit la. another good part is somehow they always find money to go n drink. wahhahahhaa!! but i dont really feel...
part of their grp cos they're all like bengs. and im like... a diff kinda girl. ahahhaha. now la.

- nyp frenz like morris and dya and has.
see them everyday in school. and they just make me learn more things. which rocks. this grp of ppl are realllllllly care free. dam dam fun grp of ppl. bad part is they're all malay speaking ppl. NONE THE LESS. I WILL LEARN MALAY.

-marcus, xy, xavier tt grp.
MY BESTIES MAN!! always out for a good time. this is the grp i reaaaaaaaaaaaaaly feel comfortable with. love it.

yesterday went to amk central with max n sharul. wanted to slack till night then go n drink. but sharul went to meet his "mum" n went shopping. something i dont BELIEVE AT ALL SHARUL.
me sharul n max went to cine but sharul left at like 7. played xbox for 2 hrs. while playing xbox had a call frm diana asking me to meet her at long john. i went down to meet diana... felt like killing her somehow. max went to eat yuki yaki and he spent like 42 bucks on the stupid place... i didnt even feel like eating. but i forced myself. afterwhich i really felt like puking. hahahhaha. after tt while walking saw taufik!! he's dam funny la. JOKER. then i saw dainelle malon tt group. then i had this call frm kent asking if i was at cine cos he saw someone who looked like me. then me n max walked to heeren and i saw this grp of ah lians i was like "wth" then i suddenly one of them called me. WA. shcked. eric's gan mei mei's. LOL. then walked even more... then then then then..... OK LA. I JUST SAW A LOT OF PPL. at about 11 we went to meet zakir, miguel and this brunei guy... i dun even know his name. ok followed them to play LAN at lvl 9... WE GOT A PRIVATE ROOM MAN. it had 5coms and one xbox. SUPER FUN. omg.... swoons. ok... played pool with them for a while then i got a ride home! wooooot!! kena bastard by acit. DUH LA. couldnt give a damn shit about him anymore.

ok. i know i have this big problem with cute guys. i go gaga. and i know it. but i cant control myself. so here's the situation. 1st yr, sem1 in NYP. math lecture theater. class starts at 9. everyone was in the theater by like 930? then at 1020 this guy walks into the theater frm the front door drinking a can of duno wat, wearing slippers and just walks past the lecturer without a care and with this guai lan look on his face which said "im late so what? i dont give a fuck. at least i bothered to come" and takes a seat. i know this is gonna sound cliche but i went... "omg.........h.o.t" since then... been having this mini crush on him... name's justin. JUSTIN. can u imagine??? almost 1 yr, i have been having this sorta almost non-existent-at-times crush on him. dont even knw if its even called a crush at all. i dont even think about him AT ALL. and i didnt even tok to him before. i didnt even know him.i didnt even bother trying to get close to him i guess i just treated him like my eye candy. but one thing i knew for sure. he was 80% of the old derek. something i LOVE and ADORE. well... SOMEHOW this rumour spread like wild fire. someone told justin that this jap girl liked him. and duh!! im the only jap in the whole bloody school la! FUCK MAN! paiseh like hell. worst part is it aint even true... to a certain extent. i was just making a big fuss about how cute justin was and TTS IT. thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

this sem............ found out he's in the same class as dya. WOW RIGHT.
and he asked where's yoko.
thank God i retake tt module so im not in their class.

but last friday... went to slack w dya...... and she asked me to follow her to meet justin.
he IS cute la. he IS who i thought he was. the 80% of the old derek.
and he's a really frenly and nice guy. hahaha. reminds me of my old life.

pardon me

2006-03-31T04:08:00.000-08:00

can i let go of him?
or do i just chose not to.

damn it!! damn it!!!
now a days... im becoming very very emo.
IM NOT LIKE THAT.
and i've been crying a lot for the past few months.
better buck up!

im not who i used to be. ahhhhhhhhhhh.

shut up yoko. u're such an emo kid.

*bite*